November 2006

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES?

What a surreal day for a humble publicist To kick off the winter season at Wookey Hole we staged the first extreme eating competition to be held in the United Kingdom a media event that had all the usual Borkie DNA.

I watched Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas a small American weighing only 7st 7lbs eat her way through 48 mince pies in five minutes. The room was packed with TV crews and snappers I felt like it was a stunt pulled from the mind of David Lynch. Sonya proved she's the giant of the world eating scene.

Extreme eating is a competitive sport in America and I reckon it might catch on here. I hope to put up a film of the day tomorrow but for now enjoy a slice of the coverage on the Today programme. I love the way the organiser Ryan Nerz from the International Federation of Competitive Eating takes on cynical BBC Radio 4, a shining example of countering PC.

I think everyone should by Ryan's book Eat This Book: A Year of Gorging and Glory on the Competitive Eating Circuit, its a stocking filler.

UNIVERSAL BULLSHIT DETECTOR WATCH™

I am very pleased to announce that we have become the UK distributor of the Universal Bullshit Detector Watch™ which is a must for any frustrated PR exec. The owner of the watch can now comment with humour at any time during a meeting or presentation when a client or a fellow professional starts to froth at the mouth. The watch flashes, moos, poops and also tells time!

The Universal Bullshit Detector Watch™ is the invention of Joey Skaggs He is one of my all time heroes; in a nutshell Joey is America's most notorious socio-political satirist, media activist, culture jammer and hoaxer. His most notorious scams have included the April Fools Day Parade and a Native American surgeon who transplants scalps for people who want to cure their baldness. My personal favourites were the Cathouse for Dogs (1976): Skaggs published an ad for a dog brothel in The Village Voice and hired actors to present their dogs for the benefit of the Midnight Blue cable TV show (NY's first late night cable TV sex show). The prank annoyed the ASPCA and the Bureau of Animal Affairs until Skaggs revealed the truth after a subpoena. ABC picked up the footage without questioning it, ABC later won an Emmy. The original producer,still refuses to believe it was a hoax He later topped that with a Celebrity Sperm Bank (1976 scam where Skaggs organized a sperm bank auction in New York; the sperm bank was then robbed and semen was supposedly taken as hostage.

The secret behind the Universal Bullshit Detector Watch™ is a speaker that spouts mooing and defecating sounds, which are elicited by a button the watch wearer presses. If these foul-sounding emissions don't convey the bullshit detection well enough, the watch also has a flashing light. Both the sounds and light continue for up to 8 seconds.

Anybody who would like to get this ultimate Christmas gift or stocking filler for the PR with everything, then email sherry@borkowski.co.uk. It's not cheap.

THE UNSPOKEN CONSPIRACY

Google's Blog search facility corroborates Emily Bell’s notion in the Media Guardian today, that the Blog world needs to be conscious of the inner tosser that exists in all of us who feel the need to "opinionate". The thousand of PR blogs that proliferate daily, suggest that the wave of opinion does not have the cut through yet. I am never surprised at the continual level of sideswipes made at me or Max Clifford. After all, we put our views forward so we should hear the opposing comments. But the rise in PR blogs suggests that this counter comment is beginning to verge on the obsessional. Surely there are other issues to be investigated about the heart of our trade? It's for this reason that I have always tried to distance myself from the heart and soul of the public relations business. I feel too much of the PR industry sits about all day pinging one another with catty stories, instead of getting on with its work. The media arena sometimes pre-judges PR because of this perceived bitching on their client’s time and money. I do think certain areas of PR are ill-conceived and terribly cosy, from the mere headcounts of celebrities to what people believe PR is – ie talking a good game is sufficient,when they have no idea what that game, let alone the job is. I hope and pray that this is contrasted with the Borkowski approach; hard work, wit, trust, long-term strategic thinking, risk, a certain joy in creating something that actually stands up, and super-serving the client and the media.

My scribblings sometimes generate greater interest in other arenas of the media which goes to show that there is a desire to see the other sector of the industry. I have an unproven conspiracy theory that the Ab-Fab clichéd lifestyle is a convenient cover rendered by the industry that has more sinister aims. Innocently served by the glib, self centred narcissistic and the useless, it damages some great professionals that are out there. I have no problem with a good wrist-slap or sometimes a bigger kicking, (I should be able to take it now), I just wish there was more focus on some of the heinous crimes of our trade. In fact, I will go further and say that if employees toiling for companies owned by networks, that distance themselves from a conscience, perhaps shouldn’t blog or go on record pointing the finger at cleaner operations that take a harder look in the mirror. In January 2003, I wrote an article about how the U.S. administration set about persuading the American people to back the first Gulf War. I don’t think it was published, possibly for legal reasons, although it did no more than recount facts already in the public domain. Type Nayirah Hill and Knowlton into Google, and the top link is to an article entitled “How PR Sold the War in the Persian Gulf”, To be brief, the article exposes how PRs completely fabricated a shocking story of how Iraqi soldiers had thrown babies out of incubators in Kuwait, in order to harden public and political opinion in support of a declaration of war. It also exposes how much the PRs earned off the back of it.

It’s interesting that every time I mention this in the context of ethics, or indeed I try and talk about how the tobacco business goes about its information crusade, I generate such a level of emails and blogging that suggests maybe some companies have the resources to neutralise certain debates. It's going to be more difficult to effect change when the democracy of blogging is used as an example of purer word of mouth. Think about it, who can afford the time to offer ground shaking opinion when there are all those crazy parties to go to, and gyms to shape up in. After all, nobody wants to employ an ugly PR lovely.

ONE NIGHT IN MANCHESTER

Jackie McQuillan Branson uber PR, puts up with the exuberant publicist at the after show party. I cheekily suggest an upgrade on my next flight to LA on Virgin Atlantic

Mark declares his love of Coronation Street to Nickie Sanderson and her agent.

I celebrate the fantastc TV coverage and now time for bed Zebedee

UTTER CRAP IN THE DAILY MIRROR

Before I wind up for the weekend one last thought. Great bit of utter bollocks about Noel Edmonds in today's Daily Mirror. I hope the Mirror isn't wasting money on tipsters. Sounds like Benjy the Binman is back in action.

NOEL'S CELEBRITY 'NO'
Mirror.co.uk - London,UK
By Nicola Methven, Tv Editor. NOEL Edmonds has threatened to quit his Deal or No Deal hit TV show if bosses demand a celebrity version. ...

BORAT THE PUBLIC RELATIONS FIGHT BACK

Jagshemash!!!! I must be careful how I say this but could there be a Borat backlash.

Already the media are reporting various legal actions being threatened by some of the more humourless victims of the fictitious foreigner’s pranks in "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."
Perhaps it's no surprise that those who were ridiculed in the movie have
chosen to act so ridiculously. The US of A is litigation heaven and film companies are seen as good targets, with oodles of cash to plunder, despite the intrinsic irony in a couple of college students who didn’t read the small print of the contracts they signed suing because they were portrayed as dim wits.

What’s more interesting to me is the way the Kazakhs themselves are belatedly coming to the aid of their new national hero. Having initially suffered a majorsense of humour failure at Borat’s lampooning of their glorious nation, theys ubsequently enjoyed a massive surge in tourism to their hitherto undiscovered land.

This has not gone unnoticed by the Kazakh powers that be as they count their
tourist dollars, and they have sensibly decided to capitalize on this unexpected PR windfall.

The Kazakh president, Nursultan Nazarbayev,
(and his own) career-long international invisibility, has launched a globaloffensive by making state visits wherever there’s a cinema showing Borat.

There’s a PR firm called MMD which has an office in Kazakhstan and has been all over the media suggesting that it’s behind this change in Kazakh fortunes. But I smell a more professional hand helping here.

The campaign was already taking shape on the eve of release of the hit film
(which made its money back on its first day in US cinemas). First there was a four-page ad in sections of The New York Times and the International Herald Tribune at the end of September.

Then, quicker than a Republican aide could whisper “world atlas” to George
Bush, Nazarbayev visited the White House. Oh to have been a fly on the wall
of that particular meeting of minds.

This week the canny Kazakh has been in London, taking the sting out of the
cinematic attack on his country in the best way possible – by pretending to like it.

Yesterday in the Spectator the president scribbled a feature pointing out
the various misconceptions made by the film, which will at least clarify matters for a handful of public-school Tories, if not the rest of us.

It’s too early to judge if the president’s charm offensive will be effective but what’s already clear is that Sacha Baron-Cohen is facing flak and the Kazakhs are looking forward to an injection of foreign cash from film fans looking for an exotic holiday destination.

Somewhere in Kazakhstan there’s a man making fermented yak’s urine into
alcohol and laughing all the way to the bank.

WISDOM AMONGST THE DISCARDED ICE CREAM TUBS, WET TISSUES AND KLEENEX WRAPPERS – OR NEVER DISS A THEATRE CLEANER

If you can be bothered to part with £175 + VAT pop down to the Southbank and hear me and a bunch of uglies blabbering on about word of mouth. Billed as the ultimate conference on winning the battle for word-of-mouth communications, I shall be opening the proceedings. The venue is, wait for it, The Dental Institute, Guys Campus, St. Thomas Street, London SE1 9RT that’s next Friday 1st December 9.30am – 4.20pm. The happening has been put together by my old pal Andy Green, who I met twenty years ago in a toilet in the Dorchester Hotel. We were both pissed at some awards do and have been pals ever since. I rate him as one of the real people in the cess pool of PR bullshit The programme of talks look cool I hope they are prettier than the photos of those delivering them judge for your self Download file
My blather is titled "Wisdom amongst the discarded ice cream tubs, wet tissues and Kleenex wrappers – or never diss a theatre cleaner!" I hope people will find it engaging if they don’t then I am sure Andy will give them their money back. Seriously folks there is some fantastic stuff and wisdom on offer so book or be square.

THE CHARMING FACE OF PUBLIC RELATIONS

Speed-reading the daily papers this morning, I noticed that an old quote I'd made about the Paul McCartney v Heather Mills divorce battle was resurrected
as a nib inThe Times.

I originally made the comment on BBC Radio Five News and Sky News when the media was feverishly speculating about the leaked court papers.Considering my angst about quotes being filleted and then used at a later date by l those who want to take me down a peg or two, (OK, so I deserve it on occasions), I thought I would reiterate the point.

Weeks ago I came out to say that in the PR war I thought it was very astute move by Heather's llegal team, Mishcon de Reya, to bring the old corporate war horse, Shimon Cohen to the party. I have to confess I know the veteran Cohen: I met him years ago when he worked on the Andrew Lloyd Webber (whoops, Lord Lloyd Webber) account for Tim Bell (whoops, Lord Bell). I had offered an opinion about ALW in a magazine article and he was quick to snail mail (yup it was that long ago, people still used the post to make a point) me his thoughts on my position.

We agreed to have coffee to settle the issue and we parted as professional pals. He made his client'spoint and I saw the other side of the issue. I recognised how difficult his job was, working at the time for the Lloyd Webber organisation,which he handled with charm and grace. Some of the great PR operators, particularly in Tinsletown, have a magnificent way of saying "no" - or being firm -without slapping their proverbial dicks on the table.

It's a skill that isn't easily taught. I believe the elegance of media relations is being lost and is being replaced by a hardcore paranoia driven by a belief that the news and feature media is the enemy. I advocate that the trade needs to spend less time pinging one-line emails and more in building meaningful relationships with the press - the people that so many of those starting in PR industry seem to dread.

The Blogosphere and the digital ghetto grow minute by minute, and are a fabulous outlet for instant opinion. But even in the age of 24/7 wi-fi and hand-held broadband access, you can't beat good old-fashioned human contact

BRANSON LOVES WII

Launching the VirginMegastore's new uber-stellar space in Manchester on Wednesday, I was overwhelmed by Richard Branson. I have long been a big fan of his flair as a publicist and I scribbled a feature in Campaign some time ago eulogising his brio.

Watching him at close quarters, tirelessly working his butt off, never showing any signs of flagging, I wondered how many chairmen of corporations would have met their responsibilities with the same amount of good humour and vigour.

I watched him spend his day giving interviews and charming the pants off some rather cynical business hacks. It's never easy repeating the same things,yet somehow RB has an inbuilt skill in giving the same sound-bite a fresh edge.
Equally impressive was the real connection he had had with his staff. Branson turned up to the "after-show" party for his employees and spent hours mingling with them, playing computer games and engaging with their banter. Incidentally he seems to be huge fan of the new Wii (pronounced as the pronoun "we", IPA: /wiː/) Nintendo's seventh-generation video game console. However is doing the PR I have the photographic evidence. It was clear that he genuinely enjoys their company.

I got a real sense of his passion for his business in all its forms. His success is not only due to his skill at putting the art of publicity at the core of his brand - it's backed up by his authenticity. And that gives the Virgin empire a heart and a soul.

ALL TIME "NODDY" HIGH!

I have done my 125th interview on Kate Moss, this time for an Australian News Network. The ups and downs of Kate Moss's life have been a rollercoaster ride. This week an article in a design magazine dug out one of my original quotes on the Kate Moss ferago, when the story originally broke.

http://www.brandrepublic.com/bulletins/design/article/603548/mark-ritson-branding-hit-scandal-it/

The continuing need for 24/7 news quotes from pundits like myself and Max Clifford, only illustrates that you can comment on a situation as it happens, and as you see fit to comment at the time.

However, not representing the person, you cannot see the bigger picture and sometimes soundbites can fly back like a boomerang and smack you in the face.

I have always used my "get out of jail free card" saying that things are likely to change, but news organisations or newspapers always choose to fillet the caveat. It's clear that in the initial stages of the PR meltdown, brands did have to distance themselves from Moss. Those brands that needed an edge embraced her and by doing so, she became rehabilitated and her new existence was forged.

Make no mistakes; in any celebrity career, every day has a sunrise and a sunset and whether it's a red sky in the morning or at night, it's usually governed by the ongoing conduct of the individual to generate safe column inches.

CLASSICAL REBELS PLAY IT DEMURE

Classical rebels play it demure
by Maurice Chittenden and Gillian Bowditch
Sunday Times 19th November 2006.

WHEN Katie Targett-Adams takes to the stage with her Celtic harp in Beijing this week she will not be wearing the suggestive outfit that has become de rigueur for the ambitious young female classical musician.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2460345,00.html

She is one of a new breed of artists who are rebelling against the pursuit of sales through what she describes as the “seedy” sexualisation of classical music.

As the music industry’s marketing machine cranks up for the crucial pre-Christmas market, other classical musicians with ambitions to crack the pop charts have also opted for a more demure approach.

All Angels, a group of teenage choirgirls who released their debut album of arias and hymns last week, have retained the rights to their image to veto revealing shots. Over the past decade, their rivals have willingly slipped into bodices, hot pants and low-cut tops to boost their appeal.

For Targett-Adams, from Edinburgh, the turning point was a meeting with the impresario who moulded the image of Vanessa-Mae. Mel Bush, who persuaded Mae to pose with her violin in the sea, seemingly wearing nothing but a white vest, urged her to wear shorter skirts.

But while the image was credited with giving birth to “classical crossover” music as Mae achieved hits in 92 countries, Targett-Adams, 27, walked out on Bush and a management deal.

Targett-Adams, who inherited her looks from her mother, a former model, said: “I could see a little bit of logic in what he was saying but it got to the point where my mind just wouldn’t let me. I found it too seedy.”

She added: “I had to draw a line . . . classical and traditional music industries feel they must continually vie with an increasingly ‘sexier’ pop world. In the end I just thought, ‘I can’t do this.’ I did not share Mel Bush’s views on how to make it, which is why we parted company.”

She is missing from a gallery of “pin-ups” of 29 female harpists to be found on a website dedicated to beauty in music. Few of them, however, can match her achievements: Chinese audiences shout “We love you” and write her name in the air with fluorescent wands.

The idea of using sex to sell classical music helped rescue sales in the mid-1990s, a period when the excitement over the Three Tenors had died down. At its height the ploy saw record companies release titles such as Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven and Making Out to Mozart.

The four teenagers who constitute All Angels have adopted a radically different approach, vowing never to show off their bodies.

One of the girls, Daisy Chute, 17, from Musselburgh, East Lothian, said: “For us, it’s all about the music. We won’t be on the cover of magazines like Heat and we won’t be wearing our school uniforms in any music video.”

They are signed to Universal Music, whose biggest classical star, the operatic diva Katherine Jenkins, 26, often appears in cleavage-enhancing dresses.

But a spokesman for Universal said: “The girls have complete control over their image, and are to be portrayed as musicians and not in any way inappropriately. Their management have very strict guidelines over this.”

Similarly Simon Cowell, the pop music mogul and judge of The X Factor, the music contest, has dressed his new classical group, Angelis, made up of three boys and three girls aged 11 to 14, in suits and demure black dresses.

Bush, who promoted rock stars such as Elton John and Led Zeppelin before turning to classical music and launching the careers of Mae, now 27, and the all-girl quartet Bond, said: “It is not about flesh. It is about playing the right music and having the right image to fit the music. Vulgarity will not sell records and would bring damage to both artist and record company.”

Mark Borkowski, the PR guru who 10 years ago helped shape the image of the Mediaeval Babes, a 12-strong girl group who included a former stripper and an alleged witch, said: “Sex and drugs and classical music sells but there is a finite market for it. The plunderers will know there is a sell-by date stamped somewhere on the rump of their artists.”

BORAT FILM BANNED IN RUSSIA

Borat film banned in Russia
By Jeremy Last

Borat

A satirical movie starring a British Jewish comedian which pokes fun at the apparent anti-Semitic nature of some of Kazakhstan’s population has been banned in Russia.

http://www.ejpress.org/article/news/11612

"Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," had already garnered much controversy through its depiction of the former communist state as being backward and full of anti-Semitism.

It tells the story of a fictional Kazakhstani journalist, Borat, who travels to America to learn about culture. In the movie Borat explains how “Jews” are one of the main problems in Kazakhstan and that locals drink fermented horse urine.

Despite the offence taken, the Kazakh government did not ban the film, which stars Ali G creator Sacha Baron Cohen. But on Thursday it was announced that the Russian the Federal Culture and Cinematography Agency has refused to grant the film license out of concern that it may offend.

Offensive

Related Articles
Controversy over anti-Jewish jokes in Edinburgh
Baron-Cohen provokes Kazakhstan Anger

"The film contains material that some viewers may consider offensive to certain nationalities and religions," Yury Vasyuchkov, head of the Federal Culture and Cinematography Agency’s department that licenses movies for distribution to theaters, was quoted a saying by the Moscow Times.

The movie was supposed to open in around 300 Russian cinemas on November 30, but local distributer Gemini Marketing have said that they do not expect it to be available for Russian viewers until early 2007, if at all.

Nikolai Vorunkov, deputy general director of, the movie’s distributor in Russia and a subsidiary of 20th Century Fox, said: “There was some kind of explanation that the movie might create tension between races and nationalities because of its far-from-simple humor.”

Much publicity

The controversy over the movie has only served to increase its publicity, especially after the Kazakh government first went on the offensive dismissing the character.

Public-relations specialist Mark Borkowski told the Jewish Chronicle: “The way Kazakhstan hasn’t taken the joke — that’s fallen into his lap. I think that a third party has wound Kazakhstanis up in an attempt to get them to react.

Borat has also been praised as a clever method of making digs at political leaders. At the recent US premiere Baron Cohen, in character, said:"Kazakhstan very much admires your mighty warlord, George Walter Bush. He is a very wise man and also a strong man - but perhaps not as strong as his father, Barbara."

Baron Cohen, who first found fame as Ali G, is a north London Jew who was educated at Haberdashers Askes school and Cambridge University where he studied history.

THE CULT OF PHILIP GREEN.

I think Philip Green’s cover might have been blown at long last. Has his obsession with celebrity become his Achilles heel?

First he flirts with the Kate Moss brand and creates a dream match, made in heaven, where the supermodel, celebrity and, according to many, the most stylish woman in the world, gets in bed with his brand Topshop, the country’s coolest High Street store. Green, who owns Topshop’s parent group Arcadia, struck the deal personally after meeting Moss and deciding they should work together. “We want to build this into a global brand,” he told the trades. “She is a fashion icon in terms of the UK… and this is what Topshop is all about in terms of fashion.” OK so that was a brilliant piece of opportunism but has he gone too far being seen walking in the Oxford Street branch of Topshop at midnight last night with Michael Jackson

The latest edition of the Evening Standard reports that Green, after dining with the fading superstar at Nobu, took him along to Topshop for a private visit. Does the Jackson brand appeal to the current, young Top Shop consumer? Perhaps the pictures said more about Green’s respect for the pop superstar, another theory is that he using the Topshop brand as a mechanism to hang out with celebrities? I think that’s a little unfair but worth debating! The Kate Moss deal was timely, but what will his friendship with MJ deliver? Does he need to cultivate his Green cult by hanging out with faded icons?

AHEAD OF THE LATEST JAMES BOND MOVIE'S RELEASE THIS WEEK, MATT KEATING ASKS SOME OF THE TOP NAMES IN ADVERTISING TO ASSESS THE 007 BRAND'S ENDURING APPEAL

Monday November 13, 2006
The Guardian

Ahead of the latest James Bond movie's release this week, Matt Keating asks some of the top names in advertising to assess the 007 brand's enduring appeal

http://media.guardian.co.uk/mediaguardian/story/0,,1946072,00.html

Ahead of the latest James Bond movie's release this week, Matt Keating asks some of the top names in advertising to assess the 007 brand's enduring appeal

Monday November 13, 2006
The Guardian

Adam Morgan
Founder, eatbigfish brand consultancy
There are three reasons for the Bond brand's continuing success: first, there's an underlying consumer need which Bond is fulfilling that is partly about Britain. In Bond we still have the best car in the world, even though we don't actually have a car industry; we lead the world in technology, even if in real life we definitely don't; we have the best looking man in the world and all foreign women just fall at his feet. Our need for that just gets bigger; it is growing, rather than diminishing. The crappier Britain becomes, the more we need Bond.
Second, a successful brand deals in really potent currencies: sex, money, power and death. That's what Bond is all about: by buying into the brand, we're buying into this currency.

Third, the Bond brand remains successful because it is always being refreshed. In many ways the people you should speak to are my twin boys: they have just bought the Bond video game of From Russia with Love, which is an old Bond movie. One of the reasons that Bond remains such a strong brand is that it is a contained world: that's one of the reasons that Bond sees off its competitors. So long as they keep refreshing the brand, Bond will have eternal appeal.

Michael Gubbins
Editor, Screen International and screendaily.com
The big thing about this Bond is its product placement, which is clunky to put it mildly. And to go with that, seven companies have massive tie-ins with Casino Royale - Ford, Heineken, Omega, Smirnoff, Sony Electronics, Sony Ericsson, and Virgin. All of those have got their own Bond-related adverts and product placements. It is quite a clever arrangement. Heineken is quite interesting because Bond doesn't drink Heineken, but they've done their advertising and online campaigns based around the film with actor Eva Green in person and with Bond and so on.

Most movies now go through so much fragmentation with YouTube and MySpace and all those things but Bond has done the opposite and gone right upmarket by having massive tie-ins with several global brands. So you get this spiralling-out advertising that you can't really avoid. Because one of those products you will come across one way or another, and each one of them is pushing James Bond and that can go down to the tiniest, crappiest beer mat in your local pub and right up to some high-end Omega watch campaign. That is a the way that a lot of these big blockbuster movies are moving now. Casino Royale is just one the smarter ones at doing it.

Mark Borkowski
Founder, Borkowski PR
What is powerful about the Bond brand is that Eon [the production company that makes the films], Barbara Broccoli et al, have always kept a strict eye and control over the brand. They have been great custodians of it and if anything the brand increases. They've managed to maintain the glamour, they have always had very clear ideas of partners.

There are always brands willing to pay large sums of money just to get some reflective glory. The danger is that the Bond brand could be damaged by being associated. But Eon hasn't exactly gone to town getting every last big brand involved with the film.

Eon is pretty good at knowing the volume of hype they have to put into it if they got something that isn't a great film. Word of mouth on this very strong so you can see the cranking up of the volume. The Bond brand doesn't need YouTube or MySpace because it permeates down. The Bond cult is enormous and that shows the brand is bigger than many of the more modern ways of reaching an audience. But there is still huge net activity going on around the film.

Andy Hobsbawm
European chairman, Agency.com
The idea of product placement is on the rise because it is a way of stitching the brand into worlds that people interact with. I've seen the Bond trailers on YouTube and there is a Sony product placement, which reminded me of Mike Myers in the first Wayne's World movie. That is always going to be uncool. Any time that you feel the commercialism is intruding on the narrative isn't sensible.

When the producers say they are "rebooting the franchise" it's clearly an attempt to anchor the Bond brand in the digital age. He seems to represent in media terms some of the old-fashionedness of a media that is trying desperately to keep up with this new interactive age. On the other hand, there is no reason what you couldn't make the franchise relevant as there isn't anything in James Bond himself that means you couldn't contemporise it.

Also before 9/11 you may have thought that technology was all-powerful and technology was replacing the all-action hero because it could do everything. But post 9/11, the idea of human intelligence versus technical intelligence has come to the fore and you need real people on the ground getting sweaty and dirty with the action. And bad guys do attack us with low-tech weapons. I wonder whether the gadgets in Bond were getting more and more ludicrous and now this "reboot" might be slightly more in tune with the times.

Piers Schmidt
Co-founder, 4th Room brand strategists
From a consumer's perspective, or this instance the viewer's, I became slightly pissed off with the franchise over the past few years over the product placement, which had become almost too overt. There was a seminal moment with the shift from the Aston Martin to the BMW - I thought, "Shit, the spies' car has been put up for auction."

With the cars, the gadgets, the watch brands, you can see the direct links with them and the Bond brand. But if it's product placements for not a particularly sexy beer brand, you start to think that it was only there because it was paid for. And I think that does start to dilute the integrity of the brand. And if that happens Eon will have less to sell in the future.

The Bond brand is almost the only one that Britain has left. We sold off our manufacturing capabilities, we don't make motorcars really any more, we don't have an airline that rules in the way we used to be proud of BA for doing, so in a way James Bond is the last British export.

PARROT AUDITIONS REVISTED

According to today’s Daily Star newspaper: “This is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a parrot with a big personality. We hope to uncover the next A-list avian superstar. ”The lucky winning bird will first be used as the official “spokesparrot” for the DVD launch of the second swashbuckling adventure, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: The Dead Man’s Chest’. It will then be flown to the island of Dominica, where it will join co-stars Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley to shoot the final film ‘At World’s End’. Owners hoping to get their parrot on the big screen have been given some expert advice on how to prepare their feathered friends for the gruelling auditions. Oh yea lets see what happens.

Borkowski won numerous awards for a similar scam back in 1989. We were given the job of publicising a production of Treasure Island, starring Frank Windsor, at the Mermaid Theatre that year. Not many people know where the theatre is. And at Christmas, most people want to go to panto. So we had to create an angle on it. In the end, we decided to hold open, public auditions for a parrot to take the part of Captain Flint. News programmes and newspapers love that kind of "and finally" story ... "and finally to the amazing escape of Jimbo the Tortoise who accidentally travelled to the South of France in the engine compartment of his owner's Ford Fiesta" - you know the kind of thing. So we set up the auditions, which attracted the first batch of coverage. A few days later we announced that a parrot belonging to the F1 racing driver, the late James Hunt had been cast. Strange, that - at the time James Hunt just happened to be the biggest racing driver in the world.

This might have been the end of story. But one of the stage-hands started teaching Hubert (that was the name of the parrot) some interesting vocabulary. The long and the short of it was Hubert started shouting "Fuck Off" whenever Frank Windsor touched him, on stage. He then bit Frank's ear - or at least I believe he must have because I had a long chat with Frank about the bird being temperamental and not long after Frank started wearing a large bandage on his ear. Somehow, the papers got hold of this. Can't remember how that happened exactly, but I have a dim memory of buying bandages in Boots during the Christmas rush.

Chapter three in this sorry saga, was the final, last-minute, panic hunt for a replacement. Luckily, we found a placid parrot, which bonded happily with Frank, for a final photo call. As I keep banging on about it’s about re-castingfact and information as an entertaining story. A bad-tempered parrot shouting obscenities and biting off an actor's ear! Now that's what I call news! How could the press resist it! Its stuff people want to read!

Let’s see if the scam for Pirates has three chapters eh

LEARN TO LOVE A LOBBY GROUP

There is a row brewing between Puma, the Metropolitan Police and various anti guns lobby groups on the basis of the new Puma trainer that has a machine gun etched on the heel. Let’s not forget that the brand is trying to remain at the cutting edge of fashion as well as pushing the limits as far as they can to get the oxygen of publicity and remain street cred. Maybe this deliberate provocation plays right into the hands of the police and lobby groups as they need these brands to enable them to raise the very issues that they are campaigning for.   It would be a quiet news day if there were no misbehaving brands and lobbyists to generate coverage.  

WHAT DIFFERENCE IS SADDAM’S EXECUTION GOING TO MAKE TO THE CHAOS IN IRAQ?

Is it a coincidence that the verdict and sentencing to death of Saddam Hussein have arrived two days before the pivotal U.S. Congressional Elections? I would argue that the timings are not only fortuitous, but constructed to create maximum PR. Well prepared forward planning indicates that forethought was given to where the President would be. It’s no surprise that George Bush was safe in Texas delivering his sound bite, setting off on a campaign tour. He thanked the U.S. soldiers for their part in Saddam’s downfall “Today, the victims of this regime have received a measure of justice that many thought would never come”. On the evidence, it seems to be a clear PR coup which I hope will not turn any execution of Saddam Hussein into a martyr. Many of the factions in Iraq will happily turn his death into their own PR advantage.

PUBLICITY STUNT THAT NEEDS SOME PRAISE

Today’s quote from Michael O’Leary, founder of Ryan Air on Richard Branson’s plans to donate Virgin’s next decade’s profits to developing biofuel suggests that O’Leary should take a course from Branson’s PR people in the art of public relations. O’Leary’s comment about it being “… a great PR stunt but it will take the next 100 years for Virgin transport profits to reach $3 billion” surely suggests that O’Leary should look in his own back yard. Although Ryan Air may be innovative in the cheap flight arena, surely they should spare a thought for the quality of their own customer services. I wasn’t aware that Ryan Air was at the top of the league polls when relating to the public. Branson, on the other hand, seems to have harnessed the art of great publicity, and on the whole has a great air service as well. Surely Ryan Air should attempt to create not only cheap flights but great PR.

SO HERE NOW FOR BRAND BECKHAM?

Where now for Brand Beckham?
Independent - London,England,
... As PR Mark Borkowski notes, Beckham could be set to become the great champion of British sport, a Sir Bobby Charlton with truly global appeal and a better ...

http://news.independent.co.uk/media/article1938895.ece

Where now for Brand Beckham?
He's the most commercially potent footballer ever. But with his career at a crossroads, his sponsors are facing some tough decisions. Ian Burrell reports from Madrid
Published: 30 October 2006
As David Beckham took his place on the bench for Real Madrid's most recent home game at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, the photographers lined up before him like the Napoleonic firing squad in Goya's El Tres de Mayo, the masterpiece on display in the nearby Prado museum.
It was the biggest match of the season - El Clasico against Barcelona - yet Beckham, so recently the undisputed figurehead of English football, was once more suffering the ignominy of being named a mere substitute.
Beckham was well aware of the picture photographers had been asked to wire: "Goldenballs" without his lustre, stuck on the sidelines while former Old Trafford colleague Ruud van Nistelrooy and the other Real stars - Robinho, Raul, Cannavaro - took the limelight. It was a shot the snappers weren't going to get.
As the cameras flashed, so Becks flashed back with his teeth. Ker-ching, every smile worth a small fortune in maintaining the value of Brand Beckham.
He showed the same media nous a couple of weeks earlier at Real Betis in Seville. While the other substitutes sat forlornly, Beckham waited in the tunnel until after kick-off to ensure the picture opportunity was lost.
Dropped from the England squad, David Beckham is now struggling to get a game even with his club, threatening the demise of the most powerful personal brand in British sport.
This month he lost his lucrative deal as the face of Police sunglasses to the Spanish actor Antonio Banderas. The setback will not have helped his relationship with Gillette, with whom he signed a three-year deal in 2004.
That was the year a BBC survey found that 37 per cent of Britons rated Beckham more influential than God, and when marketing expert Matt Haig named him with Oprah Winfrey and Jennifer Lopez as the three individuals among the world's top 100 brands. Haig wrote: "His brand power is about much more than the soccer prowess he has displayed for Manchester United and Real Madrid."
But can one survive without the other? Gerry Armstrong, the former Northern Ireland, Spurs and Real Mallorca striker, who commentates on Spanish football for Sky Sports, has his doubts:"He has to be playing, in my opinion. I cannot see him signing a new contract if he's not playing regularly. When Real Madrid toured Asia it was the David Beckham tour, not the Real Madrid tour. He's a good-looking lad with a clean image that appeals to a lot of companies and he earns a lot more from his endorsements than he does from playing football."
Beckham makes around £10m a year from deals with Pepsi, Adidas, Motorola, Gillette and Coty perfume. Armstrong remembers the impact of his signing for Madrid in 2003. "They sold one million shirts in nine months at 72 euros each. It paid for the transfer fee straight away."
But the idea that the player might leave Madrid has gathered pace following an interview with Spanish paper La Razon, which some British journalists chose to interpret as a sign that he was preparing for his departure, with his current contract only lasting until the end of this season.
When he moved to Spain, a small army of British media moved with him. The Daily Mirror dispatched Stephen Moyes to Madrid. Eric Beauchamp was sent by The Sun and Antony Kastrinakis by the News of the World. Sid Lowe files to The Daily Telegraph and The Guardian, and Paul Giblin to the Press Association, among others.
But the pack is now dwindling, as interest in Beckham pales and editors concentrate on younger stars such as Wayne Rooney and Theo Walcott. One of the diehards of the Madrid pack, who asks not be named, says: "You would never have thought this but Brand Beckham is going out of fashion. Everything his media people are doing now is to protect the brand. He has always battled back but with England it is the end of the Beckham era and it could be the end of the Beckham era at Real Madrid."
The reporter says the player - even when not scoring - does what he can to associate himself with success. "When a goal is scored he is the first player to congratulate the scorer. That will be the picture on the back pages of the newspapers - it's always Becks and the goalscorer. Young players can learn so much from him about image."
There were no goal celebration photo opportunities for Beckham against Barcelona. Coach Fabio Capello brought him on with just eight minutes to play, long enough only for Becks to collect a yellow card awarded, ironically, for time-wasting.
Rob Palmer, Armstrong's co-commentator, was the first television journalist to interview the teenage protégé when he was on loan at Preston North End. "He said to me, 'Do I look at you or the camera?' He could find a camera now at one million miles," he laughs. "Beckham was the last of the galacticos. Ronaldo was the South American market and Zidane was the European market but Beckham is universal."
The loss of Becks from Spain would not be great news for Sky, which has televised La Liga for a decade, watched the value of the rights go up and just forked out £30m for coverage until 2009.
But Nigel Dean, Sky's Spanish football producer, does not seem too worried. "He's lost his England squad place and maybe the effect of any departure from Spain is not as much as it might have been at an earlier stage."
Beckham has some able advisers fighting his corner, most notably Simon Oliveira of Simon Fuller's 19 Management and Julian Henry of Henry's House PR agency. It seems to work. As soon as England's form dipped under new manager Steve McClaren this month, The Sun was running a "Bring Back Beckham" campaign - even though he had been dropped by Real.
Spanish journalist Guillem Balague, who writes for the sports paper Diario AS and recently interviewed Beckham, takes a more dispassionate view. "To the Spanish public he is less of an icon and more of a football player. His battle has always been to convince people that he is a player first and an icon second and the lack of reaction in Spain to him being on the bench at least shows he has got his wish. The debate in England is never tactical, it's all about personalities and controversies." Balague expects Beckham to play a role as a squad player this season and indeed he started in a low-key cup tie on Wednesday evening.
That might not be enough for the man who is still regarded in many parts of the world as the most famous footballer of all. One member of the British hack pack in Madrid is convinced he will leave Europe altogether. "I think he will go to America - it's perfect for David and Victoria. Brand Beckham is both of them together and she's had things on hold while he has been here in Madrid. He will be the star player in the American league and I think what he does there will almost eclipse what he's done here. They used to say he's the biggest star since George Best but that's wrong - there has never been anyone like Beckham."
The Beckhams have used US publicist Paul Bloch to raise their profile stateside, where the couple are busy cultivating celebrity friends such as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Beckham mania has been a slower burn in the US but is certainly happening now. This summer he was chosen, alongside Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees and ice skater Sasha Cohen to promote the drinking of milk in American schools. He was named in Vanity Fair's best-dressed list for 2006 and is regularly the subject of interview requests from the Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman shows.
China and India are regarded as growth markets for Beckham and he will be central to new campaigns in those countries for both Motorola and Adidas.
Oliveira, his publicist, denies the severance of the relationship with Police or the loss of his place in the Real line-up will lead to the demise of Brand Beckham. "All of his sponsors very much have a long-term vision of David's role in their campaigns. They work with David not just as a footballer but also for his appeal outside the sports pages."
Publicist Alan Edwards, whose Outside Organisation has represented the Beckhams, points to the long-term value of the David Beckham Academy, which he describes as "a great concept". The soccer school ties in neatly with Beckham's work as a global ambassador for Unicef, and therein probably lies the key to his future.
As PR Mark Borkowski notes, Beckham could be set to become the great champion of British sport, a Sir Bobby Charlton with truly global appeal and a better hairstyle. "Pele and Beckenbauer have shown how Beckham could still use the game as a backdrop to developing his brand. His next role could be as a great sporting ambassador and the London Olympics will be the key."
As David Beckham took his place on the bench for Real Madrid's most recent home game at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, the photographers lined up before him like the Napoleonic firing squad in Goya's El Tres de Mayo, the masterpiece on display in the nearby Prado museum.
It was the biggest match of the season - El Clasico against Barcelona - yet Beckham, so recently the undisputed figurehead of English football, was once more suffering the ignominy of being named a mere substitute.
Beckham was well aware of the picture photographers had been asked to wire: "Goldenballs" without his lustre, stuck on the sidelines while former Old Trafford colleague Ruud van Nistelrooy and the other Real stars - Robinho, Raul, Cannavaro - took the limelight. It was a shot the snappers weren't going to get.
As the cameras flashed, so Becks flashed back with his teeth. Ker-ching, every smile worth a small fortune in maintaining the value of Brand Beckham.
He showed the same media nous a couple of weeks earlier at Real Betis in Seville. While the other substitutes sat forlornly, Beckham waited in the tunnel until after kick-off to ensure the picture opportunity was lost.
Dropped from the England squad, David Beckham is now struggling to get a game even with his club, threatening the demise of the most powerful personal brand in British sport.
This month he lost his lucrative deal as the face of Police sunglasses to the Spanish actor Antonio Banderas. The setback will not have helped his relationship with Gillette, with whom he signed a three-year deal in 2004.
That was the year a BBC survey found that 37 per cent of Britons rated Beckham more influential than God, and when marketing expert Matt Haig named him with Oprah Winfrey and Jennifer Lopez as the three individuals among the world's top 100 brands. Haig wrote: "His brand power is about much more than the soccer prowess he has displayed for Manchester United and Real Madrid."
But can one survive without the other? Gerry Armstrong, the former Northern Ireland, Spurs and Real Mallorca striker, who commentates on Spanish football for Sky Sports, has his doubts:"He has to be playing, in my opinion. I cannot see him signing a new contract if he's not playing regularly. When Real Madrid toured Asia it was the David Beckham tour, not the Real Madrid tour. He's a good-looking lad with a clean image that appeals to a lot of companies and he earns a lot more from his endorsements than he does from playing football."
Beckham makes around £10m a year from deals with Pepsi, Adidas, Motorola, Gillette and Coty perfume. Armstrong remembers the impact of his signing for Madrid in 2003. "They sold one million shirts in nine months at 72 euros each. It paid for the transfer fee straight away."
But the idea that the player might leave Madrid has gathered pace following an interview with Spanish paper La Razon, which some British journalists chose to interpret as a sign that he was preparing for his departure, with his current contract only lasting until the end of this season.
When he moved to Spain, a small army of British media moved with him. The Daily Mirror dispatched Stephen Moyes to Madrid. Eric Beauchamp was sent by The Sun and Antony Kastrinakis by the News of the World. Sid Lowe files to The Daily Telegraph and The Guardian, and Paul Giblin to the Press Association, among others.
But the pack is now dwindling, as interest in Beckham pales and editors concentrate on younger stars such as Wayne Rooney and Theo Walcott. One of the diehards of the Madrid pack, who asks not be named, says: "You would never have thought this but Brand Beckham is going out of fashion. Everything his media people are doing now is to protect the brand. He has always battled back but with England it is the end of the Beckham era and it could be the end of the Beckham era at Real Madrid."
The reporter says the player - even when not scoring - does what he can to associate himself with success. "When a goal is scored he is the first player to congratulate the scorer. That will be the picture on the back pages of the newspapers - it's always Becks and the goalscorer. Young players can learn so much from him about image."
There were no goal celebration photo opportunities for Beckham against Barcelona. Coach Fabio Capello brought him on with just eight minutes to play, long enough only for Becks to collect a yellow card awarded, ironically, for time-wasting.
Rob Palmer, Armstrong's co-commentator, was the first television journalist to interview the teenage protégé when he was on loan at Preston North End. "He said to me, 'Do I look at you or the camera?' He could find a camera now at one million miles," he laughs. "Beckham was the last of the galacticos. Ronaldo was the South American market and Zidane was the European market but Beckham is universal."
The loss of Becks from Spain would not be great news for Sky, which has televised La Liga for a decade, watched the value of the rights go up and just forked out £30m for coverage until 2009.
But Nigel Dean, Sky's Spanish football producer, does not seem too worried. "He's lost his England squad place and maybe the effect of any departure from Spain is not as much as it might have been at an earlier stage."
Beckham has some able advisers fighting his corner, most notably Simon Oliveira of Simon Fuller's 19 Management and Julian Henry of Henry's House PR agency. It seems to work. As soon as England's form dipped under new manager Steve McClaren this month, The Sun was running a "Bring Back Beckham" campaign - even though he had been dropped by Real.
Spanish journalist Guillem Balague, who writes for the sports paper Diario AS and recently interviewed Beckham, takes a more dispassionate view. "To the Spanish public he is less of an icon and more of a football player. His battle has always been to convince people that he is a player first and an icon second and the lack of reaction in Spain to him being on the bench at least shows he has got his wish. The debate in England is never tactical, it's all about personalities and controversies." Balague expects Beckham to play a role as a squad player this season and indeed he started in a low-key cup tie on Wednesday evening.
That might not be enough for the man who is still regarded in many parts of the world as the most famous footballer of all. One member of the British hack pack in Madrid is convinced he will leave Europe altogether. "I think he will go to America - it's perfect for David and Victoria. Brand Beckham is both of them together and she's had things on hold while he has been here in Madrid. He will be the star player in the American league and I think what he does there will almost eclipse what he's done here. They used to say he's the biggest star since George Best but that's wrong - there has never been anyone like Beckham."
The Beckhams have used US publicist Paul Bloch to raise their profile stateside, where the couple are busy cultivating celebrity friends such as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Beckham mania has been a slower burn in the US but is certainly happening now. This summer he was chosen, alongside Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees and ice skater Sasha Cohen to promote the drinking of milk in American schools. He was named in Vanity Fair's best-dressed list for 2006 and is regularly the subject of interview requests from the Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman shows.
China and India are regarded as growth markets for Beckham and he will be central to new campaigns in those countries for both Motorola and Adidas.
Oliveira, his publicist, denies the severance of the relationship with Police or the loss of his place in the Real line-up will lead to the demise of Brand Beckham. "All of his sponsors very much have a long-term vision of David's role in their campaigns. They work with David not just as a footballer but also for his appeal outside the sports pages."
Publicist Alan Edwards, whose Outside Organisation has represented the Beckhams, points to the long-term value of the David Beckham Academy, which he describes as "a great concept". The soccer school ties in neatly with Beckham's work as a global ambassador for Unicef, and therein probably lies the key to his future.
As PR Mark Borkowski notes, Beckham could be set to become the great champion of British sport, a Sir Bobby Charlton with truly global appeal and a better hairstyle. "Pele and Beckenbauer have shown how Beckham could still use the game as a backdrop to developing his brand. His next role could be as a great sporting ambassador and the London Olympics will be the key."

DEVELOPING MESSAGES FOR THE 24 HOUR NEWS CYCLE

I notice that a leaked memo that fell into the hands of the Associated Press tells of The Pentagon instigating a public relations operation like a political campaign. Allegedly they are building a war room as Defence Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld faces escalating criticism over the Iraq war. The public affairs and news teams will "develop messages" for the 24-hour news cycle and "correct the record” in the digital hemisphere.