February 2007

THE TALE OF THE NAUGHTY JESTER.

In this morning’s “Office Hours” section of The Guardian, is a huge picture of English Heritage’s pro jester Peet Cooper. My thoughts rolled back to an astonishing summer back in the 1980’s, when Borkowski was publicising Royal Britain, a visitor attraction in the heart of the Barbican. The owner, Lord Bradford employed a jester, one James Lovell to entertain the hoards waiting to get in to sample the delights of the show. My memory fails to recollect the content of the museum, but I think it evoked stirring imagery of the empire, complete with lashings of pomp and circumstance. To cut a very long story short, Lovell, in his bells and tunic, took upon himself to crack jokes on the modern monarchy; gentle innuendos on the contemporary members of the House of Windsor: Di, Fergie, Andrew and Charles. The jokes were a little risqué and much to the chagrin of the management, the joker refused to censor his material. After a warning he was relieved of his post, but refusing to accept his dismissal, James picketed the exhibition, which generated huge amounts of coverage across the media universe. If the nation and the world had not heard of Royal Britain, they did after this. The row went on for weeks, providing vital oxygen for publicity. Every time I see an image of a man in purple velvet, tabard fringed with gold bells, I immediately remember the joy of Royal Britain

MORE RORY BREMNER FUN AND GAMES

The furore over Rory Bremner’s spoof call to Margret Becket continues to generate newspaper and radio debate this morning, 24 hours after the story broke in full. I continue to feel the back-draft issues from close quarters. Rory called me last night to say that he had decided, in consultation with his producer Geoff Atkinson, not to make the tape public. It’s a shame that some of the pressures he is under have forced the folk at Vera Productions, who make “Bremner, Bird and Fortune”, not to put the recording on the net. The counter spin is intense and at times the puritanical posturing of certain government spokesman defies belief. I hope one day the story of how Rory got the number of the various cabinet ministers is outed. I still think there might have been a little more humour from the talking heads who were put forward to comment on the issue. The spoof was very gentle and the government might have scored a few points if they had demonstrated a sense of humour. The poe faced, and at times silent condemnation, generated bewilderment rather. Perhaps the opp provided the current administration with a base camp that could have allowed them to make the most of projecting a personality that the public might have bought into.

MANAGING THE RORY BREMNER NEWS MAELSTROM

It’s been a relentless 48 hours managing the Rory Bremner news maelstrom! If you have not been reading the papers perhaps you missed the news that the brilliant impressionist hoaxed the Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett. Rory tricked her when he pretended to be Chancellor Gordon Brown. Rory phoned her on the day on 2005 general election, when she was environment secretary, and they discussed her Cabinet colleagues. The four and half minute tape is hysterical but ignited the press many of them running it as their front page lead this morning.

When a story of this size takes shape its always stressful. So I was not surprised by the intensity. I don’t want to be paranoid, (whilst we were in the throws of outing the detail of the tale) for huge chunks of Friday evening and Saturday afternoon, both Rorys’ and my mobile went down. I began to become slightly paranoid when somehow the Foreign office had a prepared statement before journalists knew the name of the politician in question. I have been in the centre of many interesting stories that has got “Fleet Street “salivating but this one was a little spooky and at times uncomfortable. Rory described the call as deep research but he felt as if he had played with a large box of matches. I suspect a puritanical back lash, Rory isn’t a cheap talk show radio DJ looking for instant fame. The Rory I know is a clever funny and genuine human that has his feet firmly on the ground with a healthy overview of the fame game. It will be fascinating to see the Government reactions to the call especially when they are currently challenging the old definitions of privacy that we have all come to take for granted

BRITNEY ATTACKS THE PAPPARAZZI

So if anybody wonders what its like to be in the public eye watch this film on Youtube. Its little wonder that Britney Spears is finding hard to keep out the press when a pack of jackals are pursuing her. The poor woman must be going through a hard time and needs space but of course the paparazzi want a photo.

I think the public know the price of fame. Clark Gable once remarked to David Niven that, when it came to the contract between a star and his public, the public had read the small print and the star hadn't. All it takes is one tiny violation and the adoring press turn into a baying mob. The media worship when a star is rising to the top but there is always the potential for hatred and disdain when they become tired of the celebrity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j65eWoYJJBw

IS ALL PUBLICITY GOOD PUBLICITY?

I was sent this sad and brilliant story from the Reuters bureau in Boogata which provoked deliberation. I have worked in the entertainment industry for many years and my mantra’s has always been, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity!”

Sometimes I have a tough time defending that “All publicity is good publicity” as an absolute, but when I read the following report I chuckled at the response to a peculiar crisis at a travelling circus.

(REUTERS) Two clowns were shot and killed by an unidentified gunman during their performance at a travelling circus in the eastern Colombian town of Cucuta, police said Wednesday.

The gunman burst into the Circo del Sol de Cali Monday night and shot the clowns in front of an audience of 20 to 50 people, local police Chief Jose Humberto Henao told Reuters. One of the clowns was killed instantly and the second died the next day in hospital.”

I applaud the chutzpah of the PR department of Circo del Sol de Cali. They prove that there is always a marketing opportunity inside a crisis. Even when two key performers have been lost to a violent homicide Henao ensures the show is protected and the brand is promoted.

“The killings had nothing to do with the show the victims were performing at the time of the incident,” Henao said in a telephone interview. “We are investigating the motive.”

With an entrance fee of under 50 U.S. cents, Circo del Sol de Cali attracts mostly poor Colombians. It pitched it tents in Cucuta, near the border with Venezuela, earlier this month.

GENETICALLY MODIFIED SPOKESPEOPLE

Well trained media spokespeople are now the norm, habituating every nook and cranny in most news programmes. If there is an issue that an editor wants to focus on, then hey presto, the PR handlers offer up a genetically modified human, built in a workshop, to face the foe. These well trained “greys” are regularly heard on the BBC Radio 4’s “The Today Programme”. This news agenda setter is a formidable programme which has prided itself on its aggressive, no nonsense style of news reporting, cutting to the quick and asking those difficult questions that its audience wants answered. But is it being foiled? I ask that because of the way it failed to turn up the heat on Barclays on Tuesday morning.

As I was shaving , it was no surprise to hear Barclays Bank’s annual profit jamboree was about to feature; just the type of news story that gets pounced on by “Today” editors. But listening to the well trained talking head, I wasn’t surprised to hear the Today reporter being foiled by a well prepared suit. The cuddly, friendly High Street bank had declared record billions worth of profit and the PR minders of the bank had prepared their defence extremely well. A well heeled spokesperson, John Varley, the Group Chief Executive strutted his trained and rehearsed response to the business reporter, Greg Wood. Of course, Mr Varley was expecting hand grenades to be hurled in his direction but he did seem to de-arm all the charges.

I marvelled at Varley’s platitudes. By the end of the encounter he had attempted to suggest that some of Barclay’s profits were used for philanthropic good. I noticed that each question was answered with three points which is key for all great media training. After all, a listener only takes three things away from any interview, Varley made sure his soundbites were memorable.

The power of a well orchestrated PR campaign stems from trained spokespeople who know that they’re in the stocks but if their preparation is top draw, they will come out virtually unstained. It’s proving more difficult for journalists to find a soft underbelly, with so many media consultants now providing such sturdy armour for clients to wear. I remember when I was rigorously training a spokesperson for a launch (no, I’m not telling you who); the arrogance that was impregnated into his character counteracted any media training because of his inability to listen. If the 4th Estate is going to be successful in taking on the well equipped corporate might of big business, it will have to be a lot more effective in the way it tackles its interviews. As the media institutions become more cost conscious, then perhaps decisions to throw veteran producers, editors and journalists will be their ruination. Will punters pay for a sappy paper that can’t nail the real issues? It seems that the inherent wisdom is being jettisoned because of cost and this forces more reliance to be placed on inexperienced journalists to cut to the quick. It’s ironic that PR companies are profiting from this short term-ism, and it’s the big agencies that are buying up ex journalists who are paid more to utilize their considerable nouse in tackling aggressive newsroom issues. Are we are witnessing a vicious circle which will result in more big corporations being able to avoid negative PR with the help of these game keepers, turned poachers. In truth, it will further perpetuate the powerlessness of the consumer in an age dominated by the call centre culture.

BURN BABY BURN

After a weekend away in Amsterdam, I return to find the UK newspapers devouring and obsessing about the Britney Spears’ shaved head moment. The Dutch don’t seem to have this same fixation about a feckless pop star going through career breakdowns in the most pubic way. You don’t have to be a Harley Street shrink to work out that it's obviously a cry for help. I hope that Britney can exorcise her demons; at the very least, she needs to undo her pact with Beelzebub. Once you are up there, defied as some sort of pagan cultural icon, it’s impossible to find a way out of the escher maze. The punters don’t really understand the life nor the contract that was signed. Few read the small print on the contract that they signed when embarking on a career of fame and fortune.

Clearly Britney Spears realises that there’s no way out. She’s trapped in the hall of mirrors that surrounds her life and she’s trying to smash all of them. Britney wants fame, but on her own terms. Her desperate public actions show that although there may be a volume button, there’s no OFF button. All she does is generate more negative headlines and falls in a PR cul de sac. Britney is identified in every sleeping and waking moment as a cultural pop idol and therefore anything she does is preyed upon by an industry that existed way before she was even born. Perhaps she knows she’s lost in one of the passages of purgatory, but the coming weeks and months will reveal whether she will be driven completely insane, or if those with a keen interest in Britney Spears Inc. can save the day. Like some Brunehilda, she should throw herself on a pyre of burning newspaper cuttings – now that would be a fitting end that just might burst the celebrity bubble.

VOYEURISM DEATH AND ANNA NICOLE SMITH

It’s horrible; within minutes of her terrible demise Anna Nicole Smith made universal headlines. Before the poor woman was cold there was a feeding frenzy for the global media barons. Even as the proverbial ink dried celebrity voyeurs stepped up to paw over her tragic life.

This was quickly followed by nodding commentators dribbling and deliberating. The blogosphere was deafening, I logged 93,261 bloggers offering their point of view in the first six hours. It was then left to the wags to play with Photoshop exchanging the viral executions around the net and the speed of light. Perhaps this quick death signifies the compelling vicious celebrity cycle that churns and turns feasting on popular culture

Anna Nicole was an opportunist who was ultimately undone in her quest for fame. Unable to function in the normal world she had an empty life. In a court, surrounded by the detritus of society, many carpet baggers were quick to turn a trick on her renown. Inevitably this 21st century tabloid icon was going to fall battling for constant identification by media. Surely there was somebody in her life that could see this stark reality of the inevitability!

In her last months she was drugged beyond any ability to function normally. Her obsession with Munroe perhaps required her to meet a similar end. I doubt that Anna will maintain the same iconic status, which Norma Jean sustains; it is far more likely that she will become an emblem of the perils of the plastic age of trashy celebrity nirvana.

HUGH GRANT A GIRLFRIEND AND ANOTHER DRESS

Hugh Grant stepped out with his girlfriend, Jemima Khan, to the Premiere of his new film “Music & Lyrics” the other night. As you can see from the way the media picked over it, they were happy to draw comparisons to Liz Hurley and the Versace dress 13 years ago. It all goes to prove that when a publicity stunt is staged, it’s fine to repeat an idea. The dress moment will always generate interest, but there’s only one thing worth mentioning about this photo opportunity and that is that it will plague Ms Khan for years to come. She’ll never live it down; it will stay on record and turn up like a nasty stain on a party frock. If there’s anything negative in the soap opera that is her life, the image will always illuminate the script.

Last Tuesday morning, the press compared her to Liz Hurley, her dress was compared to Liz Hurley’s and her relationship was compared to that of her beau and Liz Hurley. I’m not sure she was expecting such comparisons but when you wear an eye catching, skin tight black dress and accompany Hugh Grant to an event, you are making your life far more available for the newspapers to pore over. Surely at this stage in her life, she should have put more thought into that. I am prepared to place a bet with Paddy Power right now that in ten years time if the Daily Mail asks her for an interview, she’ll say “yes, but as long as they don’t use the shot of the Herve Leger dress”.

WILL BERNARD MATTHEWS SURVIVE BIRD FLU?

Emine Saner The Guardian

As he tucked into his own Christmas turkey, Bernard Matthews must have been relieved that 2006 was over. Hit by the the demise of the Turkey Twizzler and the exposure of animal cruelty - two of his workers had been filmed using a turkey as a baseball - his profits fell by 33% last year. But now, with 160,000 of his birds gassed because they were at risk of the H5N1 virus, is this the end for Bernard Matthews?

Matthews, the portly, tweed-wearing Norfolk farmer, started his empire as a teenager, hatching 12 turkeys from eggs he bought for £2.50. During the 80s and 90s, he expanded his empire into such delicacies as Golden Drummers, Mini Kievs and Turkey Dinosaurs. Now his fortune is estimated at £300m and he is Europe's biggest turkey manufacturer, farming eight million birds a year. Even if it is unfair to blame Matthews for bringing bird flu to Britain, the spotlight has fallen on his vast sheds full of birds and the conditions in which they are kept.

"The media hasn't yet feasted on Bernard Matthews' reputation, but I think it will," says PR expert Mark Borkowski. "The brand isn't looking too bootiful. But we've seen other brands get over health scares. It depends on the response and speed of it."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/birdflu/story/0,,2006732,00.html

MATTHEW FREUD, LEGENDARY MANIPULATOR, STAGE MANAGER AND FIXER

My old pal Matthew Freud is truly a legendary manipulator, stage manager and fixer; a figure, whose undoubted skills as a PR suit, moves in shadowy circles. A regular at Davos, he knows how to knit his contacts together. There is much bitching about him, but not from me. There seems to be some sense of astonishment that Manchester won the super casino bid, beating Blackpool at the winning line. Hey, it was no surprise to me! In fact it proved that Sol Kerzner, the wheeler-dealer behind the bid, and the man who created the Sun City, had employed the right man to lobby on his behalf. One of Matthew's tried and tested processes is 'cross-fertilisation' - an old PR practice in which two publicity-hungry starlets fake an affair and allow themselves to be photographed at a particular club. Everyone gets coverage - including the club. Watch a wonderful film, "Sweet Smell of Success" which graphically immortalises this process. The plot is centred around Sidney Falco, played by Tony Curtis, a down at heal PR man who will do anything to get publicity for his clients. He sees J.J. Hunsecker (played by Burt Lancaster), a powerful New York newspaper columnist, as an outlet.

There will be much wringing of hands, and I do feel sorry for Blackpool but it's all too late. Let's face the facts, the winning bid had the effective operator that used his proven power to deliver the goods. There are so many PR firms trying to punch above their weight and make proimises that they can't deliver. It warms my heart to see a true player. Wake up people, there are only a few that can manoeuvre in circles of authority successfully, and Freud's is one of them.